That’s right… You cannot motivate anyone else. It is flat out impossible to do so. Motivation means a reason to act; something that moves one to action. Only you can decide what you will act upon. Only you can decide what is important enough to act upon.
The only thing that I, or anyone else, can do is to spark an interest in you… create some pressure that forces you to re-evaluate priorities or get you to look at yourself or your situation in a new light. But in the end, only YOU can decide to act.
But, what about this absurd and unrealistic situation to blow your theory? ‘A really bad guy is holding a gun to my child’s head. I have to do what he says or my child dies!’
Well, I still say that the ‘really bad guy’ cannot motivate you. Your love (or lack of it) for your child vs. what the ‘really bad guy’ asks is what moves you to action. What if you are told to shoot your other child? Did the ‘really bad guy’ motivate you then?
OK… Of course these are absurd.
That is my point. In that situation or any other situation, you evaluate the situation and choose what is most important to you. Then you act. Sometimes you act by NOT acting. You procrastinate. You get in a state of drift where you don’t know what to do.
Sometimes you choose immediate pleasure because it’s better than the alternative… even when the alternative leads to greater pleasure in the future. So, when you feel depressed or un-motivated, you really are motivated… You have reasons to act (or not to act). They just may not be apparent.
The things that you wish you were doing or could do are within your grasp. You just don’t have strong enough motive to do so. So, ask yourself why you are currently doing what you are doing. Is it to avoid immediate pain at the expense of future pleasure? Is it to build a positive future or to avoid a negative present? These questions could be the most important you ever ask.
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